


Breathe Your Life Into Me

by brokenhighways



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-21
Updated: 2011-08-21
Packaged: 2017-10-22 22:08:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/243088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenhighways/pseuds/brokenhighways
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared is a Hollywood actor who’s losing the will to live while Jensen is a struggling writer who has no purpose in life. A chance meeting blossoms into the beginning of a relationship but it’s short-lived when Jared’s walls crumbles and he goes into hiding. This leads to Jensen having to find him so he can show Jared that there’s still hope yet and prove to himself that he’s not a failure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: This is based on a prompt from la_bellavita , she basically wanted a fic where Jensen bitched out fangirls who were hating on Jared but this kinda grew into a deeper story....

 

Part One

 

It all starts on the day that "Twilight: Before the Sun Rises" comes out in the theatres. Now, Jensen wouldn't normally be caught anywhere near anything related to Twilight, especially not a shitty prequel that was probably written by some deranged fan girl who lives in her parent’s basement. But this prequel? Has Jared-freaking-Padalecki in it. Meaning that Jensen HAS to watch it. Jensen likes to think that he's a loyal fan, he's seen every movie that Jared's been in at least 12 times, he's been to about a dozen conventions for that show Jared did for a season before it got cancelled. He joined Twitter exactly 23 minute after Jared did (his pada-stalkery, is awesome okay?) and hell, he even runs a fan site for the guy.

So it's safe to say that watching this movie isn't even a question.

So he goes to the 9pm viewing and buys a huge box of popcorn, a packet of skittles and a coke before he makes his way over to the theatre the movie is in. The lights are still on so its easy to see that he's pretty much the only guy in the room. He sighs and makes his way over to the less populated seats at the front. Jensen knows that he'll get a crick on his neck but honestly he'd pick that over overexposure to fan girls any day.  
He's a little early so the room is still filling out while he makes himself comfortable. Just as the commercials start a group of teenage girls file into his row and he lets out a sigh. The girl who sits next to him immediately shoves his arm off the armrest and his popcorn goes flying off to his left and scatters all over the floor. He stares at the mess hopelessly before turning around to glare at the girl only to find that she is deep in conversation with her friend with the really, really annoying laugh and Jensen just wishes that they would shut up already.

He's taking a sip of his drink when he hears it  
“Robert Pattinson is a MUCH better actor than Jared Padalecki,” annoying girl says and Jensen spits his coke out everywhere. But he still doesn’t say anything because, hey it’s not his fault that there are people out too stupid to spot real talent when they see it. Just at that moment two guys shuffle into the row in front of Jensen and he wonders why they’ve picked the most obscure row, sure the theater room is full but sitting in the front is a pain in the ass which is why it’s empty. The second row is only marginally better but to be honest he hates coming out to watch movies anyway.  
The movie eventually starts after about 50 million commercials and 10,000 ways in which Robert Pattinson is better than Jared so Jensen is already in a foul mood. This only deepens when he see that the opening scene is basically just Jared being shirtless. Normally he’d be okay with. He’d be more than okay with it because Jared Padalecki is a freaking hot ass.   
But this doesn’t justify a fucking pointless, shirtless scene. Especially as Jared’s character is supposedly have a serious conversation with his father no less. The girl next to him starts cooing about how hot Jared is and Jensen just wants to slap her.  
“It’s a shame about his hair though,” her friend replies and Jensen clutches his drink so hard that the lid pops off. It’s going to be a long two hours. He sighs as he flops back into his seat.

  
***

  
Two hours later and Jensen feels like breaking into song and dance when the end credits roll. The two girls have spent the entire time bitching about Jared and how awful his character is compared to Edward fucking Cullen and Jensen just wants to ask them what they were really expecting from a fucking Twilight prequel but he’s scared.  
“I’m never watching this Jared guy again, he’s totally lame!” The girl says as she standing up and Jensen just snaps.  
“Oh will you shut up,” He says glaring at her and her friend, “No one forced you to watch the movie! And he’s so lame that all you did for two hours was fucking say how hot he was which by the way is all I’d expect from someone as shallow-minded as you”.  
The girl opens her mouth to say something but Jensen just carries on talking. He’s had fights with fan girls before online and once you allow them to get a word in (or you know forget to disable the leave a comment feature) they just keep on going. The irony is not lost on Jensen, but hey, he doesn’t care if that makes him a pada fan girl. He is perfectly okay with that.  
“No,” he says, “Let me finish, because of you I didn’t enjoy the movie because for some reason you thought that this was some sort of forum to make your stupid Jared and Rob comparisons, well newsflash honey, they’re two different actors and the major difference is that Jared can act!”  
“Yeah well he wasn’t in the REAL twilight though was he?” someone from the crowd says and Jensen only realises then that there’s an audience and he sighs.  
“Fucking twihards,” he mumbles under his breath before he continues, “So what? It doesn’t mean that me or any other Jared fan have to sit here and listen to your shit. Do you see me bitching about Robert Pattinson for two hours? No, so why can’t you just sit down and be fucking quiet for once – and no I couldn’t have moved dumbass because the room was full!”  
“Hey, dude what’s your problem?” someone calls out and Jensen rolls his eyes.  
“My problem is that these two spent the whole fucking movie bitching about Jared Padalecki, so now I’m bitching them out so that they at least know how I was feeling” he says and he snorted when people murmured in understanding and started to file out of the room. The girls he was yelling at start running away quickly and he sighs. He was really looking forward to yelling at them some more as well. Oh well. He shrugs and starts to gather up his stuff so he can leave when someone clears their throat. He looks up and realises that the two guys who sat in the front row are still here and he laughs awkwardly.  
“Sorry about that,” he says, “I get a little worked up sometimes and they really pissed me off during the movie”  
“It’s okay, we heard every single word they said,” one of them says and Jensen is pretty sure that he knows that voice. Even so he shrugs and just picks up his jacket, he turns to look at them and his widen when he finds himself staring at Chad Michael Murray and Jared Padalecki. He just bitched out two fan girls in front of Jared Padalecki!  
Jensen feels his face heating up as he gapes at them.  
“Well this is awkward,” he says after there’s been a long silence, “I should just go…”  
“Thanks for sticking up for me” Jared says with a sheepish smile as Jensen just stands there without moving an inch. Chad, who’s been doing something on his iPhone looks up and squints and Jensen before he turns to Jared and says,  
“Isn’t that convention dude?” Jared just shoots him a look that clearly says ‘shut up Chad’ but Chad just keeps on going,  
“It is isn’t it? I mean you said he was hot, had amazing green eyes and the…cutest damn freckles you’d ever seen,” Chad says before frowning and saying, “Man, you’re such a sap…anyway dude, sweet movie but I have to roll! Later!” and then Chad starts walking off and Jensen just watches him go with a shocked look on his face.  
Jared is still standing there and Jensen just scratches the back of his head awkwardly as he tries to scope out his exit route. Jared clears his throat at that moment,  
“So uh…what did you think of the movie? I usually come see it on the opening night…to try and see what people really think…” he trails off as he looks at Jensen expectantly. Jensen is torn between lying his ass off or telling Jared that the movie kind of sucked.  
“I..uh…it was good in parts” he replies as he starts to blush again and Jared just looks at him blankly for a few seconds before his face splits into this huge, dimpled grin and Jensen’s pretty sure that he feels his knees weaken a little.  
“It sucked didn’t it?” Jared says with a laugh, “It was a Twilight movie after all”  
“Well apart from your scenes, it was pretty bad,” Jensen agrees as he breathes a sigh of relief. He doesn’t want to offend the guy or anything.  
“So…what are you doing now?” Jensen asks and Jared just shrugs,  
“Waiting for Chad to realise that he was my ride and get his ass back over here” Jared laughs again and Jensen just feels himself melting even more. He tries to store away all of the mentally so he can update his Livejournal when he gets back home – not that anyone will believe him but he doesn’t give a fuck.  
As if on cue, Chad comes strolling back in and he says,  
“Dude, I totally forgot that I was your ride home!”  
Jensen just shoots Jared a look and Jared just shakes his head fondly. Once Jared has donned a huge black beanie and shades they make their way out. As they reach the exit Chad turns to him and gives him a lewd wink before saying,  
"You'll keep Jay-man's company while he gets a coffee right? I have a phone call to make" and he walks off - again. Jared just rubs the back of his neck awkwardly and says,  
"Chad...is uh..."  
"Not as subtle as he thinks he is," Jensen says wryly, "There's a diner up there, it should be okay". It's a two minute walk at most and Jared makes a big deal of opening the door for Jensen. Jensen raises his eyebrow slighlt but doesn't say anything.

They slide into a booth near the back of the dinner and Jensen watches as Jared feigns interest in one of the menus. He's spent enough time watching and re-watching shows and movies that Jared has done that he can just tell that Jared's putting it on. He clears his throat after the waitress who'd come over goes to get their orders.  
"So...convention dude?" he asks curiously and Jared blushes.  
"Just I've spotted you at a few of the cons and events, it's kind of hard to forget a pretty face" Jared says with a shy smile that displays his perfect dimples. Jensen feels a flutter in his stomach but he ignores it.  
"Oh" he says simply looking up as the waitress as she places their drinks in front of them.

Jared's face falls a little but Jensen is too tired to apologise for his non-answer. He sips at his coffee as he surveys the coffee shop absentmindedly.  
"So what's your name?" Jared asks once he's done slurping his caramel venti something - Jensen doesn't do anything that isn't black coffee.  
"Jensen," he says before realising that he's coming across as some sort of monosyllabic douche - though technically his name has two syllables - so he says, "I’m a writer".  
This isn’t really a lie. He just happens to be in between projects at the moment and mostly writes jingles for dog food companies. It pays the bills right? Jared's eyes light up when he says that and Jensen tries not to grin stupidly at him.  
"Man, that's awesome! I love creative people, and I’m sure that you’re a fantastic writer" he says and Jensen feels his heart swelling just a little bit; even though Jared is probably just saying that.  
Chad comes in at that moment and Jensen wonders if now’s the right time to ask for a picture. He decides against it because, it's not like he doesn't have this photo-ops from the cons he went to. Chad is still chattering away into his phone as Jared gets up and shrugs his jacket on. He gives Jensen a shy as he gets up as well and does the same with his jacket. Their fingers brush for a few second and Jensen feels an electric spark run through him as his fingers tingle (or you know the slightly less cheesy and more accurate version of that!). He thinks hears

Jared's breathing hitch for a few seconds and he wonders if Jared is as affected as he is. Not that he’s affected by Jared. Jared’s a Hollywood actor and he’s just a deadbeat writer who spends most of his time watching TV and movies. They’re from two different worlds. They leave quietly and Jensen is left standing there by himself.  
A few seconds later, the door swings open again and Jared comes rushing through it. Jensen finds himself smiling fondly and he tries to tone it down as Jared approaches him.  
“Hey, so would you want to hang out with me again?” he asks with a twinkle in his eye and Jensen chuckles quietly.  
“Yeah, I would,” he replies simply as he rubs the back of his neck softly, “I’d like that a lot”.  
Of course the next week is when everything goes to shit. Jared's movie gets awful reviews and there are talks about taking it out of cinemas. Jensen doesn't really know what they were expecting. It's just another way of making money out of clueless fans really. Not that he says any of this to Jared who’s been calling him frequently since they met. Talking to him privately has been completely different from the generic 30 second conversations they’ve had at conventions and Jensen is secretly pleased. It’s not like he’s expecting Jared to ask him out of anything. Just because it’s not big secret that Jared is gay it doesn’t mean that he should expect anything. Jensen always been one of those socially awkward people so he ends up blurting out,  
“Are you going to ask me out?” halfway through one of Jared’s rambles about… something. There’s a long pause as Jared stops talking and Jensen hopes that he hasn’t blown it.  
“Do you want me to?” Jared eventually says and Jensen curse under his breath when he realises that he can interpret Jared’s tone. He’s good at being able to do that usually.  
“I wouldn’t say no,” he replies, “That’s if you, you know want to ask, don’t feel that you have to” Jared just laughs gently and says,  
“I’ll keep that in mind”.  
They talk for a few more minutes before Jared says that he has to go. He promises to call the next day.

He never calls.

~*~

Jensen’s never been the clingy type. He’s never been into the whole calling the person you’re with constantly just to hear their voice. Hell, it’s probably part of the reason why none of his relationships ever work out. But, he really wants to hear Jared’s voice. It’s stupid for him to be upset that Jared hasn’t called but he kind of is. He figures that Jared’s just busy so he tries to take his mind of it by attempting to start writing his novel again.  
It doesn’t help.  
Jensen tries calling but all gets is Jared’s voicemail. It’s like that for three days so in the end he just gives up. Maybe he came on too strongly with the date thing and Jared didn’t want to have to let him down gently. It’s not until Jensen is hanging out at his friends Chris’ place that he gathers an inkling of what’s happened to Jared. Chris is channel hopping when Jensen spots Jared on E!,  
“Leave it here for a sec,” he says and Chris just rolls his eyes. His friends know all about his creepy obsession with Jared and they’re always teasing him about it, though he did get a surprised look out of Chris when he’d told him about the phone calls. Not that he was all that bothered about what anyone thought of his and Jared’s…friendship.   
The reporter on E! was talking over a video of an old interview Jared had done,  
“Family and friends have expressed their worry for former Top Hollywood Actor Jared Padalecki. Jared’s been struggling for work recently and what with his latest movie “Before The Sun Rises” failing to make an impact at the box office. Recent reports have suggested that he’s hit the rails in recent weeks and this is the reason why as of last week, no one has seen or heard from him. His best friend and actor….” Jensen stops listening at that point as he practically rips his phone out of his pocket. He calls Jared a total of five times before Chris gently pries it away from him.

~*~

  
From: jensenrackles@gmail.com  
To: jarpad@gmail.com

Subject: I’m worried  
Hey, I just heard that you’re missing. Or well, you’ve run away or something. It’s not because of me is it? Because I won’t like stalk you or anything. I don’t think it is though – about me.   
Maybe it’ll be good to talk to someone who’s not in showbiz or you know…the acting world or Hollywood or whatever.  
Just call or text or something so I know that you’re okay.  
Jensen.

~*~

From: jensenrackles@gmail.com  
To: jarpad@gmail.com  
Subject: Me again  
Still no word from you. They’re saying that you suffered from a breakdown and that you’re in some sort of facility. 

Chad got hold of my number though, somehow – told me not to believe what I read. Did you send him to me? Was that you telling me that you’re okay?

Call me. Or I’ll have to come and look for you or…something.  
Jensen

~*~

Jensen’s not really surprised when he comes home from the store to find Chad Michael Murray sitting on his door step. It’s just a simple, small two storey house in the suburbs that he’s more than happy with but he can’t help feeling that Chad looks really out of place here. He briefly wonders if he left his living room in a tidy state but he shrugs and figures that Chad won’t really be examining his décor too hard. He shifts his grocery bags to one hand as he fumbles for his keys. Chad doesn’t say anything so he doesn’t either. He unlocks the door hastily and starts to wish that he had actually tidied up before he’d left the house. He doesn’t really remember leaving it in this state but then Jensen realises that he’s been so caught up in this whole Jared situation that he’s stopped noticing his surroundings. It’s a little scary. He beckons Chad in as he dumps his grocery bags onto the couch, it’s not like it’ll make a difference to the disarray of his living room anyway right. 

“You keep calling. Why?” Chad says finally, his tone is blunt and emotionless and Jensen finds himself blinking in confusion because he wasn’t expecting Chad to just launch into a conversation.  
“How about you start with what you’re doing here” he replies in an even tone. Jensen’s not really sure why it matters so much. But he just has to know that Jared is okay. He ignores that unanswered questions that floats around inside his head.

  
~8~

  
Jared sighs as he huddles even further under the bed covers. It’s hot and stuffy and he feels as though he’s underwater and he can’t breathe but at the same time he feels safe. Like he has a shield around him that no one can break. He would laugh at how crazy he sounds but he can’t. It’s like all of the light has gone out of his life and he can’t laugh. He can’t smile. He doesn’t want to. He knows that he probably become every single cliché out there. He’s that guy in the movie that has to go through the motions and pick himself and somehow his life will be okay again. Except that movies aren’t real. Seems that all the money he spent on that fancy therapist was just a waste. 

He just can’t help feeling as though no one cares. They all care about Jared – the actor, the public presence but not him as a person. He tried to buy out his contract with the studio, because it’s like what Chad said, if he wasn’t happy acting anymore – he needed to get out. What Chad didn’t say is that the studio would be assholes about it. He didn’t tell him that they’d force Jared to fulfil the last two movies on the stupid contract. But Jared guesses that he shouldn’t be surprised, he’s ruined they’re plans. Maybe it was only fair that they should ruin the little dignity that he had left by forcing him to do movies he’d never go near. He’d almost changed his mind when he saw the Twilight script. He’d considered telling them that he was going through a bad patch. But what was that point? The truth is that he probably wouldn’t have done a better film justice. Jared supposes that he’d rather do his best in a shitty film than screw up a film that had some potential. But only after seeing the movie did he realise how wrong he was. It kind of hurt to know that people were slating him, saying that he was no longer a respected actor. It hurt to know that all of the hard work he’d done before had been tossed aside and he was suddenly that guy who couldn’t even top the box office anymore. He was that guy who’d been nominated for an Oscar once upon a time. That actor with the cancelled TV show. 

That he was a failure.

And wasn’t that how this whole mess had started? He’d become disillusioned with the way the business was conducted in Hollywood, how people could be just tossed aside like they were pieces of meat that no one gave a shit about. Jared’s read those stories about himself online, about how he’s this and that and he’s tired of people making assumptions. 

He’s tired of being Jared Padalecki, the actor.

  
~8~

“So, you want me to go up there, by myself and drag Jared out of whatever hole he’s crawled into and bring him back here?” Jensen asks slowly and Chad nods. Jensen raises and eyebrow and watches as Chad’s face falls  
“What?” Chad says, “I can’t think of anything else, clearly all of the advice I gave him wasn’t what he needed”  
“Why what did you suggest?” Jensen asks and he steps back slightly as Chad clenches his fists and practically threw himself down on Jensen’s ratty couch.  
“Two months, he’s been like this for two months and nothing I’ve said has worked so far – he just has that dead look in his eyes, the only thing he’s cared about is doing the promotion for that stupid movie and I thought that once it was all over he’d be okay…but I’m worried that he might…you know”. Chad made a gesture with his hand that Jensen didn’t really understand so he stood there with a blank look on his face until it clicked.  
“What? Kill himself?” he says and well it’s not his most eloquent moment but he’s genuinely surprised that Chad thinks that Jared is capable of doing something like that. Surprised that it hadn’t even crossed his mind and Jensen starts to panic. Not because he thinks that Chad is right but anything could happen. It might have already happened.  
“Okay, I’ll go – but on one condition,” he agrees and Chad looks at him with a puzzled expression on his face, “You have to come with me, I’m really not sure what you want me to do because I don’t even know the guy!”   
Chad pulls a face for a few seconds, like he’s about to disagree but then he nods and says,  
“Fine, I’ll go with you”.

  
Jensen probably should have gotten a firmer guarantee.

~8~

  
He doesn’t, however and that is how he ends up stranded in the middle of nowhere outside a cabin. He assumes that this is at least where Jared’s been because if it isn’t then not only is he going to kill Chad Michael Murray, he’ll freaking castrate him first.  
Jensen sighs as he looks up at the small cabin, it’s one story and is pretty secluded. They barely made it up the driveway when Chad was driving through because all of the bushes had grown out of control. Jensen wasn’t really surprised when he found out that the cabin is Chad’s. He knocks on the door and yells out Jared’s name a few times as he tried to ignore the absurdity of the situation.

There’s no answer. He blows out a breath as he begins to pace around the small pathway leading up to the door. He notices that there’s a locked up garage behind the cabin and wonders idly if Jared’s car is parked there. Or, hell maybe he got the Chad Michael Murray treatment and was freaking abandoned here. Fucking Chad, Jensen thinks. If he wasn’t genuinely worried about Jared then he’d be gone as soon as possible but the truth is that he misses Jared. He misses their long phone calls and the way he felt when they were talking. Life they had some sort of connection. And he thinks – if Chad was right about Jared, that is – that he knows where Jared is coming from. 

Obviously he can’t begin to understand how stressful acting is but he believes that when something you love becomes the centre of what’s bringing you down in life you’re going to want to shut down. He’s felt that way with his writing at times. It’s probably why he hasn’t attempted to write anything in months. His publisher has given up on him; his friends and family have taken to avoiding asking him about how the writing is going. Not that he enjoyed the sympathetic looks he’d gotten when he’d ensured that them that, ‘yes, the writing was going well’. Jensen didn’t know who he was trying to kid back then; them or himself? But he wasn’t fooling anybody, least of all himself. 

So, really he had nothing to lose by coming up here. 

He frowned as all he heard was silence occasionally disrupted by the sounds of bird tweeting. He was pretty sure that he could hear the sound of rushing water but he ignored as he tried to figure out if there was spare key. Jensen almost chuckles when he spots a small potted planted concealed beneath the small shrubbery lining that pathway. It’s not like he expected Chad Michael Murray to come up with a more discreet hiding for a spare key. He pushes it back and sighs with relief when he spots a pair of keys. They’re covered in a soil, the pressure of the pot having pushed them into the earth but he just wipes them off on his jeans and approaches the door quietly.  
Jensen put the key into the lock and turned it slowly, he’s not sure what he was expecting when the door swung open.  
But he wasn’t expecting something hard to smack him in the face and knock him out cold. 

  
***

  
Jared is just waking up from a nap when he hears a car in outside. He snuggles even further under the covers as he tries to ignore it. But then it stops and he hears a door slam. Suddenly, an image of some weirdo hitchhiking and finding the cabin and deciding that he needs somewhere to stop so he can sharpen his knives pops into his head and Jared is out of his bed like a shot. He decides to find something that he can use if he needs to. Like a baseball bat or something. Chad must have stashed one in here somewhere.  
Except for the part where he doesn’t. Jared shouldn’t really be surprised. This is the guy who bought a taser gun to defend himself from a crazy stalker who he’d slept with once ‘out of curiosity’. He wasn’t really the brains of the outfit. In the end he finds a pair of lacrosse sticks. Jared just blinks at them for a while before he shrugs and grabs them, using his hands to beat away the dust that has collected on the shiny, black surface of the stick. It’s only then that he glances down at himself and realise that he’s a. wearing a ratty white t-shirt and old sweat pants that pool at the bottom of his ankles b. he probably doesn’t smell very nice and after a quick glance at the small mirror in the coat cupboard where he found the sticks c. his hair kind of resembles a dead rat.

 _Meh_ , Jared thinks and his he puffs out his chest and stands a little taller. He can feel himself slipping into the persona of a crazed guy who’s protecting his – or well his best friends – territory. He’s probably being over dramatic and is making all of this fuss over nothing but he can’t help feeling a rush of adrenaline surge through him as he mentally psyches himself up for this confrontation. It’s exhilarating and Jared’s going to be honest. He hasn’t felt like this for  _years_.

The fact that this means that he’s even more screwed in the head that he thought he was doesn’t go unnoticed.  
Neither does the person currently standing in the door way and without thinking, Jared lunges forwards and flings his arm out sending the sticks crashing into the person’s face. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2.

  
When Jared spots that the person he’s just knocked out is Jensen. As in his Jensen. He promptly freaks out. He manages to hoist Jensen up and he carries him over the to the couch in the small living room of the cabin. After checking Jensen’s pulse and breathing a sigh of relief when he hears it loud and clear. He’s never heard of someone being bludgeoned to death by lacrosse sticks but it could happen. Speaking of lacrosse sticks…he should really call Chad and demand an explanation for this. He spends a few seconds watching Jensen closely, his eyes fixated as Jensen’s chest heaves up and down. Jared shakes his head slightly as he tries to focus, his phone…he needs to find his phone. He walks through the cabin and enters the bedroom and frowns as he tries to locate it. He knows that he had it a few days ago because that’s when he’d called Chad and told him to get Jensen to stop calling him. After he fruitless search Jared sighs as he flops down onto the bed. A loud shrill from underneath one of the pillows causes him to jump up in shock and he grabs blindly until he manages to snatch it out. The screen says “Chad calling” complete with a stupid picture of Chad grinning and he felt a wave of anger rushing through him.

“Chad!” he growled as he answered the call.  
“I know you’re mad at me but just see it from my point of view!” Chad said immediately and Jared just frowned even deeper.  
“You left Jensen up here stranded Chad, not to mention that you didn’t even warn me!”  
“So he stuck around then?” Chad asks and there’s a hint of something in his voice that Jared can’t quite make out but he ignores it.  
“Depends on what you mean by stuck around…” he mumbles in a reply.  
“What? What are you talking about?”  
“I may have knocked him out with your lacrosse sticks...”  
“WHAT?!”  
“I know right? I didn’t even know that you played lacrosse…doesn’t seem like your kind of sport though you mostly suck at all sports so the fact that you had-“  
“Jared! Focus!” Chad yelled down the line as he interrupted Jared mid ramble, “Why did you attack him with the lacrosse sticks – which are not mine by the way – in the first place?”  
“I thought he was some sort of serial killer lurking around outside” Jared admitted in a shameful voice, “It wasn’t my finest moment”.  
“Damn straight it wasn’t, anyone ever told you that you watch too many movies?” Chad said as he laughed down the line and Jared rolled his eyes.  
“Shut up Chad”.

After unsuccessfully trying to get Chad to explain just what it was that Jensen was supposed to be doing up here Jared hung up and went back to check on Jensen. A nasty looking bruise was forming around his left eye and Jared grimaced at the sight of it. He wasn’t too sure if he should take Jensen to the hospital (and he had no idea where the nearest one was) or just wait for him to wake up. Technically he’d only been out for about twenty minutes and Jared really didn’t think that he’d hit him hard enough to give him a concussion. But what was it they said about head injuries? You couldn’t be too sure? 

~8~

  
“Seriously, I’m fine” Jensen said for what was the thousandth time. Jared just gave him a wary look and Jensen rolled his eyes, “Look go and have a shower or something and I promise that if I start to feel any worse than I have been for the past hour, I’ll let you know”. Surprisingly, Jared didn’t argue and he just nodded before he made his way in what Jensen hoped was the direction of the bathroom. Jared looked terrible, and as much as Jensen hated to say it the man looked as though he hadn’t showered for days – he probably hadn’t. But it was more than that, Jared was pale, his face was gaunt looking and covered in stubble and his hair was limp and obviously unkempt. To cut a long story short, Jared looked like shit. Not that Jensen was dumb enough to say that to his face. 

He’d woken up about an hour ago to find Jared watching him closely, relief spreading through him when he’d seen that Jensen was awake. Since then Jared had proceeded to mother him and make sure he was okay. Which Jensen was, and he’d assured Jared several times that he was. Even though he knew that Jared was only concerned Jensen couldn’t help feeling a little smothered and he would have snapped if Jared’s hadn’t left him on his own for a while. 

It gives him time to think about what he’s going to now that he is up here. How the hell is he supposed to get Jared to stop hiding from his fears and from the people around him when that’s exactly what he does half of the time? It’s frustrating to him that he still feels the connection between him and Jared. When he’d woken up and Jared had embraced him in a tight hug it’d just felt right somehow. Like this was where he was meant to be. He feels as though this was always where he was going to end up; here, with Jared.

It scares him, a lot. Just knowing that Jared was safe and seeing him in the flesh made Jensen feel as though a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. But at the same time, he can barely contain the brimming anger inside him. He is angry with Jared for ignoring his calls and messages. He’s angry with himself for pretending that he means anything to Jared. Just because they’d been talking, and just because Jared had promised to call, it still didn’t mean a thing did it? Which is what angers Jensen the most. For the first time in a long time, he’d put himself out there, opened up to somebody only to be let down.

Jensen hates himself for blaming Jared but he doesn’t know who to blame. He knows that Jared obviously has his issues but he can’t get past the fact that he believes Jared was running away from him. Jensen’s not sure why that thought hurts so much but it does.   
“Penny for your thoughts?” Jared’s voice cuts through his inner monologue and for a second Jensen considers not saying anything because he really does have a splitting headache. But he takes a deep breath and says,

“Why didn’t you answer my calls?” in the most calm and level voice he can muster because he doesn’t want to come across as sounding clingy. Jared looks stumped for a minute but he comes over and sits next to Jensen on the couch and instantly Jensen can feel the warmth radiating off him, he can smell the fruity scent of the shower gel or shampoo that he used. Jared’s face is flushed slightly, his cheeks are stained pink and his hair hangs across it in wet strands and Jensen has to resist the urge to run his hand through it and push it aside. He inches away from Jared slightly and turns to look at him while he waits for an answer.

“I’m sorry” Jared murmurs eventually and Jensen wrings his hands together as he tries not to fly off the handle, He keeps on repeating to himself in his head that he barely even knows that guy, that he’s got no right to spill out exactly what’s on his mind but at the same time he knows that there has to be something…special about Jared for him to be this angry, 

“You’re pissed at me aren’t you? Look, I just didn’t want to bring you down to my level, start something when I was feeling pretty low…mess things up before they even started” Jared continues as Jensen struggles to keep his emotions in check.  
“I called, emailed…texted, I was worried about you and you’ve just been shacked up here in this stupid, poxy cabin while the whole world gossips about how you’re having a breakdown! Damn right I’m pissed at you,” Jensen looks away from Jared before he admits, “I kinda feel like punching you.”  
“Maybe you should,” Jared says as the corner of his mouth turns upwards and Jensen can’t help rolling his eyes as he feels a smile forming on his own face.  
“I’ll take a rain check on that”

~8~

Two weeks later when Jensen wakes up with another splitting headache that isn’t lacrosse stick related he begins to wish that maybe he had punched Jared. It’s been two weeks of reverting to drinking and wallowing in self-pity along with the guy he was supposed to be saving. He wonders what the hell Chad would have to say to him now? The thing is that Jensen hates confrontation. He knows that he and Jared need to talk and he’s tried several times but Jared’s a fucking master at subterfuge. A shot of bourbon turns into them swigging from the bottle while they watch a movie on the giant, plasma TV in the main room of the cabin. And, it’s a really nice TV. But Jensen still knows that this is wrong. Even though part of him just wants to please Jared and carry on with this façade he knows that this is no way to live.  
Jared shifts over in the bed next to him and groans slightly,

“Stop thinking so loud” he murmurs and he nestles further into the pillow as he moves closer to Jensen at the same time. Jensen automatically moves across so he can’t put more distance between them and he feels rather than sees Jared shoulders stiffen and he knows that he’s awake. Briefly he tries to recall if they did anything the night before but he his memories are still a little fuzzy, he doesn’t think they did though and he tries not to sigh in relief. They haven’t really done much together, just a couple of drunken kisses and a mutual hand job a few nights ago. Of course, they never talk about it. Not for lack of trying on Jensen’s part though. Which is why he’s had enough.   
“We need to talk Jared, about…this…us, I can’t do this if you refuse to talk about it” he says and Jared finally sighs and rolls away from Jensen before he sits up, the bed creaking as he shifts his weight around. He doesn’t say anything for the longest time and an uncomfortable silence lingers between them. 

“What exactly are we doing?” Jared says quietly and Jensen turns to look at him with a curious expression on his face because he wasn’t expecting Jared to ask him that. It’s not like Jensen knows the answer. It says a lot about how much of a screw up he is that he’s joined Jared’s self-imposed inclusion for two weeks without doing a damn thing to end it. Jensen can see where this is going and he doesn’t like it. This is about Jared and not him. All he has to do is try and help Jared and then move on and get on with his life.  
“I mean, you come up here and Chad says that you’re here to talk to me, to help me get through whatever the hell I’m going through but all of you’ve done is just follow my lead, Jensen so I’m sorry if I don’t think talking will help either of us”.

“And what fucking around and getting drunk will?” Jensen snaps angrily even though he knows that Jared’s right.  
“Well, it won’t make it any worse,” Jared shrugs, “When you feel like going back to the real world, you’re free to do so, I won’t stop you”.  
“I can’t leave you up here on your own, dammit. Not when you might…” Jensen trails off not sure how to put his fears into words, hell he doesn’t want to be the one to tip Jared over the edge.   
“Might what?” Jensen doesn’t answer he just looks away as he balls up his hands into fists and resists the urge to hit something. Jared just shifts closer to him, so close than Jensen can smell his skin and just a small trace of the Johnny Walker Blue that they got through the previous night and he has to struggle not to lean back and just breathe it in.  
“Wait…” Jared says abruptly, “You thought that I might try and kill myself?” Jensen didn’t reply but he knew that Jared was more than capable of working out the answer by himself. What he didn’t expect was for Jared to force out a harsh, bitter sounding laugh. It was cold and unlike Jared’s usual laugh that it made the hairs on the back of Jensen’s neck stand up.  
“So, you’re only up here as part of some sort of pity mission? I did wonder what it was that Chad said to you to get you up here” he continues, his voice now cold and laced with his own anger.   
“Unless you’ve suddenly become a mind reader you have no idea why I’m here and just how was I supposed to know that Chad was just, stretching the truth – at least I cared enough to come up here, it’s not like I don’t have a life of my own, problems of my own and yet here I am…I’m here because I thought that maybe you’d left because of me, because you were afraid of getting involved with me, I wish I hadn’t bothered!”  
“Yeah, well maybe you should go!” Jared yells and Jensen flinches before he throws the covers all the way back climbs out of the bed and he tries to pick up all of his discarded items of clothing on the floor. He can’t really see through the tears forming in his eyes.

~8~

  
Jensen’s ready to leave an hour later and Jared starts to panic. He knows that he’s acting like an asshole but part of him hates the fact that Jensen is stuck here with him due to some unfounded obligation. But the truth is that being with Jensen over the past few weeks has been the best time that Jared’s had in a while. He’s laughed, smiled and actually meant it for the first time in what seems like forever.   
However, this is no way to live and he knows that. Jared can’t help feel as though he’s dragging Jensen to his level, and well he’s pretty much at rock bottom. But he can’t help feel as though if he lets Jensen go now, he’ll regret it forever. A loud crash of thunder makes Jared jump a little and Jared only realises that it’s raining. He snorts, it’s like a scene from one of my movies he thinks and he tries to ignore the hollow ache inside of him.

Jensen’s hovering by the door and clinging onto a small plastic bag that he must have found somewhere. It has his clothes in it, the ones that he was wearing the day got here. It’s not like Chad mentioned that “Plan: Rescue Jared” wouldn’t be a one day thing. It looks as though Jensen’s stalling though Jared supposes that could be down to the rain. Suddenly he wonders how Jensen is planning on getting back to LA. It’s a six hour drive from here, and really Jared doesn’t think it’d be advisable to make that kind of trip on foot. Unless you really needed the exercise. Jared shakes his head before his brain decides to go off on a tangent. Just as he clears his throat Jensen strides over to the door, slides the latch – and Jared wonders when he locked it because he doesn’t think he has since he got here – and pulls the door open, steps forward and promptly slips and falls forwards onto the pathway.  _Watch out for that pathway, it’s a bitch whenever it rains I keep on meaning to get it fixed.  
_  
Fucking Chad.

He rushes over to help Jensen who’s slowly sitting up and he has a murderous look on his face.   
“Are you okay?” Jared asks as he kneels down beside him and starts looking frantically for any cuts and bruises. Jensen bats his hands away and rolls his eyes,  
“I’m fine, I’m beginning to think that this doorway is jinxed – this is the second time that I’ve tried to walk through it and ended up on my ass!” he says with a pout. He looks so ridiculous sitting on the slippery pathway that Jared can’t help the laughter bubbling up in his chest and before he knows it he’s laughing loudly. Jensen just glares at him but Jared can see the corner of his mouth twitching and soon Jensen’s laughing too. They laugh until they share a heated look and Jared’s laughter suddenly dies down.

The sound of the rain splattering on the ground registers in Jared’s mind and he looks up and sees that the rain is still pouring down hard and he wonders why Jensen would leave as the weather got even worse but he just shrugs and grabs Jensen and hoists him up and back inside the cabin. He shuts the door behind and makes a mental note to call Chad and yell at him a little.   
“As soon as the rain eases off a little, I’ll get going,” Jensen says as he brushes his hands down against his jacket.  
“Stay,” Jared whispers his head tilted downwards causing his bangs – which are in much better condition now – to fall into his eyes. He clears his throat and says in his normal timbre,

“I don’t want you to go, I’m sorry for what I said”. Jared knows that he could go into a big speech, tell Jensen how much he’ll miss him when he’s gone. He could say all of the things about Jensen that make him smile, like the way the corner of his eyes crinkle when he’s laughing at one of Jared’s stupid jokes. Or the way his vivid, green eyes captivate his heart every single time. Jared could say all of that but he doesn’t. He doesn’t because he knows that what they have is bigger than words, it’s stronger than any grand declarations. It’s just like some sort of pull connecting the two of them together and Jared tries to convey all of this with his eyes, tries to extrapolate his feelings through a single glance and he thinks that Jensen maybe gets it.  
That is until Jensen says,  
“No, you’re right. I did come up here because I was scared of what you might do, and it was a rash and stupid thing to do so I’m just going to go back to my own life and leave you to live yours” he doesn’t meet Jared’s eyes as he’s talking and Jared’s so sure that he has a chance. He frowns as words float around in his head as he tries to construct the perfect speech. All he can come up with in his five seconds of deliberations is cheesy, generic stuff and for a brief moment he ponders if this is how Chad feels when he’s trying to pick up some chick who is seriously out of his league. Oddly enough Chad has a success rate of about 25%. The other 75% mostly counts for the times where he ends up with the imprint of a hand on his face.  
“Jared?” Jensen calls his voice filtering back into Jared’s hearing, “Are you okay you were muttering to yourself”.  
“I was trying to perfect my “Getting Jensen to stay” speech. I’ve done enough ridiculous romance movies to be able to come up with one in less than 30 seconds” Jared replies distractedly before he realises what he’s just said. Jensen just looks at him as if he’s grown another head and Jared finds himself cursing Chad again.   
“I need your help and…the only way I can get that is if you stay…” he says simply because that’s what it boils down to. He wants to be with Jensen and he wants to be able to show his face in public again without feeling the need to hide.  
He wants to be himself again. And he’s willing to admit that he needs help.

  
~8~

  
Jensen ends up staying. But only after he berates Jared for forgetting about the most important group of people affected by his sudden disappearance.  
“You want me to make a statement for my fans?” Jared says in a weird tone of voice. He sounds surprised and confused at the same time and Jensen kind of wants to hug him tightly and pat him on the head gently. But he doesn’t, he just goes on to explain that his fans will be worried sick about him, more so than your average person.  
“Really? I went on Twitter once and all I saw were people tweeting about what they’d like to do to me, it kind of creeped me out” Jared replies and Jensen laughs softly  
“Yeah, so you do have some padacrazies out there but they care about you and you know, if Bradley Cooper suddenly vanished, I’d be worried as hell if there was no word from him”  
Jared frowns. Bradley Cooper?  
“What’s Bradley Cooper got to do with anything?”  
“He’s my favourite actor”.  
“I thought that I was your favourite actor?” Jared says as he throws Jensen a sad look.  
“Meh, you’re alright I guess,” Jensen says with a serious look on his face. There’s a beat before he bursts into peals of laughter and Jared just glares at him.  
“Asshole” he grumbles; Jensen just laughs harder.  
While Jared is on the phone to his agent – who from the look on Jared’s face – is giving him the third degree, Jensen tries to cook dinner for them, it says a lot that they’d only been up for about four hours and yet it was already dinner time. In fact if Jensen really stops to think about it, he can’t really remember when the last time he had an actual meal was. Not even back in his own house, he’s pretty much been living on takeout ever since…his deadlines started to blur into one huge steaming pile of nothing.   
Lately he’s been feeling that urge he used to get when an idea had start to assemble in his mind but for some reason he can’t grasp the concept of the idea that he has right now. The words are there but he can’t get them out and it frustrates him. After about an hour Jensen ends his woeful attempt at cooking and starts digging around in the freezer. It’s one of those huge freezers that you can shove a lot of frozen food into and is pretty much full of different kinds of frozen forms of junk food. Jensen makes a face as he wonders just what Chad even uses this cabin for.  
“Every time me and Chad get all misty eyed about missing out on the college experience we come up here and raid that freezer,” Jared says behind him and Jensen jumps as Jared startles him barely getting his hand out of the way as the lid comes slamming down with a loud bang.  
“You didn’t miss much,” Jensen says, “I got drunk a lot, studied even more and had my heart broken and ended up with a degree that I didn’t even use”. He opens the freezer again and grabs blindly at the boxes.  
Oddly enough Jared doesn’t say anything.

~8~

“What did you major in?” Jared asks later on curiously and Jensen sighs as he thinks, so much for him not saying anything.  
“Film Studies, I loved every single aspect of it, told myself that I’d write my own movie one day, I even started working on stupid little screenplays while I studied so that I wouldn’t lose track of what I really wanted to achieve”.  
“So what happened?” Jared asks as he leans back into the couch and stares at some mindless music video that’s playing on MTV with the sound turned down low.   
After Jensen has finished his little sob story - "It's not a sob story, it's your life man" - Jared starts to tell him how he's been getting more and more frustrated with acting of late. He tells Jensen how depressed he got before he shot the Twilight movie and how he begged the studio to let him out of his contract but that refused. Jensen puts his hand on Jared's halfway through and Jared shoots him a sad smile. Eventually Jared gets around to telling Jensen what led to him running away from everything - "You didn't run, Jared you were pushed." "No, I ran Jensen, I couldn't face it and I ran" – negative reviews about the movie, whispers about how he’d be forced to do some Grade C horror movie and he’d packed a bag, called Chad and drove out of town like a bat out of hell.   
“I don’t understand,” Jensen says once Jared’s been quiet for a while, he looks like his whole world is crumbling around him. Hell, it probably is. “Wouldn’t it be easier to just do the movie and then get out of the business completely?”  
“Not if I want to leave with my dignity intact, I don’t want to be that actor who made it big and then had two failed movies and was pushed aside and ridiculed, I want people to remember me for all of the good films I did but it’s becoming increasingly clear that I can’t stop that from happening”

“But what’s hiding out here going to achieve?” Jensen asks and Jared shrugs as he pokes at a loose thread on the couch, his eyes no longer focused on television screen, “There’s a way you can prevent ALL of that from happening.”  
Jared just shoots him a blank look as if to say that Jensen doesn’t really know what he’s talking about but he does know. He knows that sitting around and moping won’t help either of their situations – they have to help themselves.   
“You find a movie, the contract doesn’t state that you have to do any specific film does it?”  
“Well…I don’t know, they’d have to approve it but no I was just contracted to do a certain number of films….what do you mean find a movie?”  
“Well, you’re pretty high profile – there must be directors out there dying to work with you – and I mean surely you’ve been getting scripts sent to you?”  
“Not really, the studio made sure of that, It’s like they’ve blacklisted me or something” Jared says with a despondent sigh and just like that an idea pops into Jensen’s head.  
“I could write a screenplay for you, I mean it’s been a while and I’m a hundred percent certain that I’m not a bad writer – maybe not the best but, I do okay”.  
Jared just stares at him. Jensen rubs the back of his neck nervously as he waits for Jared to say something but after about two minutes he sighs,  
“It’s a terrible idea isn’t it? Don’t worry we’ll figure something else out”  
“No…no it’s not!” Jared says suddenly, “I can’t believe that I never considered this before, I just thought that I had to it their way in order to keep the peace but…you’re right, I have to take control of my own career and not try and run away instead of facing up to my issues”

With Jared on board there’s just one question left to ask…what the hell are they going to base the movie on?


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3. 

Jensen’s plunging his tongue into Jared’s mouth, licking along the roof of his mouth and the inside of his cheeks, emitting tiny groans and pants, when he thinks he hears the sound of an engine revving in the distance but he ignores it as Jared’s large hands run all over his bare chest, fingers digging into his flesh. Jared pushes back into Jensen's mouth even harder, trying to swallow him down and doing a pretty good job of it. Jensen’s hands start to wonder as well, running down along Jared's sides before wrapping around to grasp his ass and then slowly but firmly rubbing back up the expanse of his back. He can't seem to get enough of feeling Jared's muscles flexing underneath his searching fingers. He wonders how they went from typing out ideas on one of Chad’s laptops that they found in a small side room to making out like horny teenagers in the bedroom. Not that Jensen is complaining; they’ve been dancing around each other for days now and when Jared pushed him down and kissed him, he barely contained the finally that was running around in his head. It’s different from what they’ve done before. Probably because they’re both sober and they’ve sort of developed a better understanding of each other ever since their heartfelt discussions about how they’d ended up where they were.  
Jensen gasps in pleasure as Jared buries his head in Jensen's neck and nibbles and bites the sensitive skin over his pulse. He can’t help hoping that Jared marks him with his teeth, leaves a claim on him because he can’t help but feel a heady rush of emotion whenever Jared’s touches him, or even looks at him. He’s never felt like this before and even though he doesn’t want to label what he’s feeling, he’s pretty sure that it’s love.

That scares the crap out of him but he tries to focus on what's happening now. He wraps his arms firmly around Jared's torso and flips him so that he’s on his back while Jensen looms over him. He smirks at Jared’s flushed complexion and his eyes gaze at his swollen, kiss bitten lips, making his mouth water. They stare into each others' eyes, both of them breathing heavily like they just ran a marathon. He's starts to lean down, moving in to devour Jared's mouth once again when a loud voice suddenly says,

“Oh my god – warn a guy before you start fucking all over his place!”

Chad. 

Jensen would like to point out that no one forced him to open the door and that the bedroom hardly represents his entire place. But he doesn’t because Chad’s already wandered off somewhere. He’s all but face palming when he hears another familiar voice. He flops back just as Chris sticks his head into the room and wolf-whistles. Jensen turns to Jared who just shrugs and grins at him sheepishly.  
“Did you know that they were coming?” he asks warily and Jared just leans over to grab his shirt and mumbles something as he shoving it over his head with slightly shaky hands. Jensen runs his eyes over Jared and looks at him questioningly once his eyes reappear but Jared just gives him the puppy dog eyes and Jensen finds himself struggling to not bitch about Chad and Chris suddenly invading his alone time with Jared.   
“Stop giving me that look!” he tells Jared eventually and Jared’s eyes just widen even further. When Jensen just glares at him Jared shoots Chris a look and he mumbles something about them already arguing like a married couple and walks back into the main part of the cabin.  
Jared moves to get out of the bed and reaches for his pants and starts to pull them on while Jensen looks on in disbelief.  
“Are we seriously going to argue about this?” Jared says as he brushes his hair back. Jensen kind of wants to tell him that he’s only making it messier but he refrains from doing so.

“Are you seriously going to just brush this off like it’s nothing?”  
“It IS nothing, Chad called, I invited him up here and somehow Chris – that’s his name right? – tagged along?” Jared explains as he pads over to the bathroom. He turns back to shoot Jensen a dismayed look before he shuts the bathroom door and Jensen is left standing there with a bemused expression on his face.  
He doesn’t know why Jared doesn’t see the issue here. Jensen thought that they were going to work on the movie together and spend more time getting to know each other alone. Maybe that’s a little selfish of him but Jared hasn’t been complaining over the last few days. Jensen can’t help feel as though Jared’s going off him and he hates how he sounds really needy because he’s not. But he’s long admitted to himself that he needs Jared in his life. That they’re like two halves of a whole and they just click when they’re together – alone. 

When Jared eventually emerges from the bathroom – he totally wasn’t hiding in there so he could avoid a confrontation with his boyfriend, by the way – the bedroom is empty and he finds himself flopping down on the bed, his giant limbs splayed all across the mattress and he closes his eyes and breathes out deeply. Boyfriend. Is that what Jensen is to him? His boyfriend? Because it’s not as if they’d talked about it. It’d been so long since Jared had actually had a boyfriend that he couldn’t help feeling a bit weird. Jensen’s reaction to him calling and inviting Chad had seemed kind of…possessive. Which…now that he thought about it wasn’t actually so bad. At least it meant that Jensen wasn’t losing interest in right?

This was already starting to mean so much more to him than saving his failing career that all he wanted to do now was get this last movie out of the way so he could focus on his life, his future. Both of which he hoped contained Jensen in them. As if on cue the door swung open and Jensen came stumbling into the bedroom. Jared’s pretty sure that he heard Chad say,  
“Don’t come back until you’ve kissed and made up”. Jared sits up pretty swiftly and tries to school his expression into one of indifference.  
Jensen rolls his eyes as he straightens up and he glances back at the now closed door and mumbles something under his breath. Jared just holds his breath as Jensen comes closer, sits next to him and suddenly he’s being engulfed by a warm and cuddly Jensen. Slowly, Jared’s long arms come around and grip Jensen just as tightly. Jared presses a soft kiss to Jensen’s neck as they cling onto each other and Jensen shifts and says into Jared’s chest,

“I know this sounds really stupid but I kinda missed you”.  
“I missed you too,”Jared replies with a tiny smile, “You still mad at me?”  
“A little…but I didn’t give you a chance to explain, so I’m sorry for that.”  
“We weren’t getting much done, so I called Chad up because he is a fantastic cockblock and well we need that right now because we had to get this movie done” Jared explains softly. Jensen pulls away from him and looks him right in the eyes, his vivid green eyes looking brighter than usual.  
“What. What do you mean had?” Jensen asks and Jared turns back to prop up a pillow against the headboard and he shifts back.  
“I just realised that I’ve got something to look forward to when I get the last movie out of the way so it doesn’t matter anymore. There are more important things than me wanting to preserve my reputation”  
“Don’t you think that we can write this movie? You don’t think that I can write it?”  
“I think you can write anything you want but…we’re not getting anywhere…so I’m saying that it’s okay if we don’t get it done”  
“We’ve been doing okay with it so far, we have a few concepts…”  
Jared just raises an eyebrow.  
 _  
Two days ago_

 _“Hey maybe we should go through Chad’s movie collection to see if we can get some ideas” Jensen suggests and Jared who’s on the cough tapping away at his iPhone just waves a hand at him and Jensen sighs. He reaches the cabinet under the huge television and pulls out a stack of DVD’s. There’s not many here, only about twenty but he pulls them all out and starts to sift through them.  
“He’s got Friday 13th, House of Wax, Devour, Cloverfield….and a lot of bad horror movies” Jensen says with a grimace and Jared just shrugs,  
“He used to call this place the cabin of seduction!”  
“And how did that work out for him?”  
“Well let’s just say that he had a success rate of 0%, the whole point was to play a scary movie and hope that whichever girl he’s with gets scared enough to suddenly start making out with him”  
In the end they end up having a scary moviethon and they watch all of Chad’s crappy DVD’s. Though, they do spend most of the time making out. _

“Okay, so we’ve been getting serious distracted” Jensen concedes reluctantly. Jared just gives him a smug look, “But we’re in this together, so we’re going to get this done”.  
Chad barges in – again – makes a point of looking at his watch and he yells,  
“Time’s up! We have a movie to write so get your asses out here!” Jensen opens his mouth to say something but Jared elbows him and shakes his head.

Jensen sighs.

~8~

  
It turns out that Chad is really fond of CGI explosions,  
“..And then just as he comes running out of the bank vault-“  
“It explodes!” Jared and Jensen say in unison as they roll their eyes. Chad doesn’t even blink he just claps his hands together and exclaims,  
“YES! How did you know??”   
“Maybe because each of your stupid ideas ends contains a freaking explosion!” Chris snaps, “Seriously, can I hit him?”  
“No!” Jared and Jensen say at the same time – again. Chad just looks at them all with a glum expression on his face.  
The four of them are spread across the front room. Chad and Chris are in arm chairs while Jared and Jensen and huddled up on the couch with Jensen’s laptop which Chris was kind enough to bring p with him. They’ve been brainstorming ideas all day and Jensen’s been taking notes meticulously but they still haven’t really come up with a concept that they can all believe in.   
Chris suddenly sighs and says,  
“We’re going about this all the wrong way-“  
“Oh, here we go again-“Chad interrupts with an eye roll of his own  
“Says the idiot who stocked his “cabin of seduction” with crappy horror films!”  
Jensen turns to Jared as Chad and Chris start to argue for what must be the fiftieth time today. It’s becoming increasingly frequent and annoying. Jensen forgets about all of that when he sees that Jared isn’t even paying attention. He’s staring off into the distance and he appears to be deep in thought and Jensen can’t help being worried. It’s only then he realises that Jared’s been quiet all night. Occasionally he’ll chip in when Chad and Chris start tearing each other a new one but he’s mostly just huddled against Jensen on the couch and been silent. Jensen berates himself for not asking and he decides he will when Chad and Chris are out of earshot.  
“When I’m writing my songs I usually write about something that I know, an experience that I’ve had – maybe you could try that. Instead of trying to come with something new – and really with our timeframe, it just isn’t going to happen – use something in your life, base it on something you know” Chris says finally and Jensen shoots him and impressed look. It’s not a bad idea, in fact it’s probably the only suggestion that has made sense.  
“Has anything ever exploded with a 5 square mile radius near you?” Chad asks and Jensen just gives him a look, “I don’t know why you guys are so against explosions….”

Jensen doesn’t miss the fact that Jared doesn’t say a word.

~8~

  
So Jared is a lying liar who lies. Or well that’s what Jensen will probably think after he hears what’s been on Jared’s mind. It sucks that it’s taken Chad and Chris arguing for him to really grasp just what is wrong in this situation. Namely him and his state of mind right now. He’s the one who ran away and holed himself up in his place. Yeah, Jensen at least made him want to get out of bed every day but that’s just the first step. He can’t be with Jensen the way he wants to if their relationship is the result of his breakdown and limited to Chad’s seedy little getaway. Jared’s sure that he’s done a good job of pretending to be fine over the last few weeks – that’s his job after all. He knows that it’s wrong but he can’t help it. Jensen was kind enough to come up and stay with and hell end up meaning more to him that Jared ever thought he would. Jared just doesn’t see them functioning out there in the real world if he doesn’t get himself sorted out first. He’s still unsure of himself and he’s a little screwed up still if he’s being honest with himself.  
Jared doesn’t want to end things with Jensen but all he can ask is that Jensen waits for him back in LA. But he’s not going to force him to do anything he doesn’t want to do. The thing is that with Chad and Chris around it’s impossible to get Jensen on his own. That and the fact that Chris has already given him the “hurt Jensen and you die” speech, and while he knows that Chris isn’t being serious per say, the sentiment is still there.  
“Jared….Jared!” Jensen calls his name and Jared blinks as he tunes back into the conversation. Chad gives him a knowing look and Jared just shakes his head at him. He’s told Chad all about wanting to go to LA but he’s only just decided that he needs to go as soon as possible. Jensen is beaming at him for some reason or other and suddenly Jared just can’t handle it. He needs some air.  
He’s standing at the end of the pathway when Jensen catches up with him. It’s chilly outside and the wind is making his hair fly up everywhere but he revels in it. It’s the first time he’s been outside for more than a few seconds since he’s been here that it feels a little strange. Which is definitely not normal right? Or is it? He doesn’t know.

“Hey, why’d you just take off like that?” Jensen asks as he bumps Jared’s should with his own and Jared feels the tension building up inside of him again and he bites his bottom lip hard to stop himself from blurting out everything that’s swimming around in his head, “You’re shaking…seriously what’s wrong?”. Jared just stares straight ahead as he realises that he is trembling, he hadn’t even noticed and just…he does not want to fall apart, not right now. 

“I’m going back to LA,” he admits frowning as he remembers something his agent said about “rehab”. He seriously hates those rehabilitation centres because the media always get a hold of the information somehow and they spin it so that it sounds a whole lot more sordid that it actually is. But all of this is starting to make him reconsider. He needs a break, a proper one. Not one where he tries to kill his liver by downing as much booze as he can. Again he’s glad that Jensen didn’t really see the state he was truly in. Jensen looks like he wants to argue with him but he looks down at the ground, stepping away from Jared to create some distance between them and he says,  
“Okay.” That’s all he says and it’s so quiet that Jared’s not sure that he heard him right and he stupidly says,  
“What?”  
“I…Chad warned me about this, it’s okay I understand and if you want to, you know – end this thing we have going, then that’s fine too” Jensen’s voice has a sad note to it and Jared wonders just what it was that Chad warned him about.  
“What did Chad warn you about?”   
“It’s nothing bad, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have worded it like that, he just said that he’d know how good I was for you if you ever said that you wanted to go back to LA”  
“What does that even mean?”  
“I don’t know, you’d have to ask him…but I actually came out here to tell you something”.  
“I don’t…want to end this thing that we have going – that’s why I’m going back” Jared says as he moves closer to Jensen, “We could stay cooped up here until I had to go and film and then it’d be a long time before we saw each other and that’s no way to start a relationship. I’m too screwed up but not enough to know that I need to get better for you and for myself”.  
“Get better?” Jensen asks, “I thought that you were feeling a lot better that you were just worried about your career?”  
“Guess I’m a good actor?” Jared says with a dry chuckle and Jensen smiles at him sadly, “There’s a lot of stuff that I haven’t told you – not because I don’t want to – but because I don’t know how, my head’s a mess and I just want to get it all sorted out before I drag you into it – any further that I have anyway, so I guess what I’m trying to say is…do you think you can stick around while I go out and do some soul searching”.  
“You don’t even need to ask, you’re not going to get rid of me that easily Padalecki” Jensen says and Jared can hear his voice is a little shaky and he looks up and sees that Jensen’s eyes and bright and glistening with tears. Without saying a word he pulls Jensen into an embrace and tries to hide his own tears.

Jared leaves the next morning or well he does until Chad stops the car and he comes running back into the house. Jensen who’d been looking out of the window frowns and says,  
“We just spent like, half an hour saying goodbye to each other...what’s the problem?”  
“Yesterday, you said you had something to tell me – you never told me what it was?”  
“We finally figured out what the movie should be about,” Jensen said with a fond smile, “Us – I mean, it’s not your typical love story is it, I think I could make it work”.  
“I know you can make it work,” Jared says with a huge grin on his face and even though it doesn’t quite reflect in his eyes Jensen knows that Jared really believes that, “Now go and write me a movie!” He darts forwards and gives Jensen a chaste kiss on the mouth before he’s out of the door and speeding away before Jensen can really grasp the fact that he’s really leaving. He can feel Chris hovering around him but he ignores his presence and he staggers over to the couch and sinks down, the feeling on loneliness starting to cloud over inside his chest.

  
~8~

  
So Jensen writes. He spends every waking moment with a notebook and a pen in his hand and a laptop perched on his lap or on the table in front of him. He wakes up more often than not with his cheek stuck to the papers on his desk and he sighs. Grabs a shower and a bite to eat and he goes back to work. He calls his Mom once, tells her that she's writing again and she sound pleased. When she changes the subject almost straight away he wonders if she even heard him properly. If Jensen was honest with himself though he mostly spends all of his time thinking about Jared. He wonders if he’s getting better, if he’s thinking of Jensen. If he’s changed his mind about them. If he’ll mind when Jensen finally snaps and murders Chad.  
The same Chad who certainly isn’t growing on him. Not even a little bit. He’s not sure if Jared asked Chad to drop in on him as much as he has been, or if Chad’s been coming of his own accord. He’s still goddamn annoying but Jensen thinks (emphasis on thinks) he can see what it is that Jared sees him in. Behind that loud, obnoxious exterior of his, there’s a good person inside. Not that he’s ever going to tell anyone that he thinks that.   
A loud ping sounds out inside his little office and Jensen jumps slightly and looks up at his screen just in time to see the notification sign announcing that he’s got a new email.

From: jarpad@gmail.com  
To: jensenrackles@gmail.com   
Subject: …

Jensen?

-8-

From: jensenrackles@gmail.com   
To: jarpad@gmail.com   
Subject: Hey!

Hey, yeah...It’s me.   
-8-

Jensen pulls a face the second he hit the send button. There is so much that he wants to say but he doesn’t want to come across as being clingy. He still does not really have a read on their relationship in the first place and with Jared gone it is twice as hard to know where he stands. Jared doesn’t reply back within the next fifteen minutes so Jensen goes back to his writing. He’s pretty sure that it’s pretty much where he wants it to be. It’s a basic story about how two people met in strange circumstances and have fallen in love. The only thing is that it’s easy to make it up when really he’s only writing a version of himself but he can’t help feeling as though he’ll jinx his and Jared’s real ending by writing one that doesn’t fit. He’s asked Chad for help (a sign of how desperate he was!) and he’d suggested “a kick as explosion man! That’ll surprise the audience”. It’s a sign of how messed up his head is lately that he actually outlined something.   
Chris suggestion had been to ask Jared and as his email notification sounds again, Jensen decides that that’s exactly what he’s going to do.

From: jarpad@gmail.com  
To: jensenrackles@gmail.com

Sorry about the delay, I didn’t pack my laptop when I was getting ready to stay here so I’m stuck using my cell and my agent called…again.

How’s the writing going? :) Oh and how’s my number one fan? :)

From jensenrackles@gmail.com  
To jarpad@gmail.com

No…that’s cool….aren’t you supposed to have like minimal contact with people at those places? I thought I wouldn’t hear from you until you got out

I…I’ve missed you…a lot. Hell, I miss Chad’s stupid cabin.

Writing’s going well! I think I’m nearly done, just I have one problem that I think you’d be able to help me with

From: jarpad  
To: jensenrackles

Uh, yeah. This isn’t really rehab per say. It’s more relaxed rules-wise. And I wouldn’t not get in touch with you. I know I hurt you a lot the first time I did that and I just want you know that I was so busy telling myself that I was alone, that no knew the real me that I almost lost you. That’s kinda hard for me to take in.

I miss you too, I wanted to get in touch the first day I got here but that would have been a little counterproductive right? Like running to your mom crying after your first day at a new school?

The cabin of seduction, huh? ~.~

I don’t miss it. It’s been a place of what I though was refuge but I spent most of my time in the place drunk off my ass because I didn’t want to feel anything anymore and ugh, I don’t need to dump any of this crap on you Jensen. Let me know what you need help with and I will get back to you.

Love from your FAVORITE actor :P

Jared doesn’t reply after Jensen sends his own reply and the script along as an attachment. Along with an explanation of what it was that he was having problems with. It’s not that he doesn’t want to reply it’s just that contacting Jensen in the first place before he was really ready to was a mistake. He just couldn’t help it though, he’d just woken up that day and just needed to speak to Jensen in any way he could. He resisted calling him because just hearing Jensen’s voice would have been enough to make him want to up and leave and seriously, he’s paid for his therapy upfront this time and it isn’t cheap. Jared’s not even sure just how much it’s helping but he doesn’t want to quit yet. That’s a good sign right?

It’s a week later when Jared finally sits down to read the script. He fiddles around with his phone as he tries to get the attachment open. He’s just gotten out of yet another phone call with his agent when he pinches the bridge of his nose and breathes out deeply. The studio has been putting pressure of him ever since E! reported that he was in therapy. Jared doesn’t really know what the problem is. Surely his breakdown will only add to their publicity so he doesn’t see what the rush is. Even so, he’s finally starting to believe in himself again. Why does he have to reduce himself to a below-par movie simply because he wants to take a break?

He’s got his last in-house therapy session in a couple of hour so he takes his time. Jared knows that he’s probably biased but he loves it within two pages. Not just because Jensen wrote it, he’s getting that tingly feeling he gets whenever he connects with a character or identifies with a script straight away. Jensen’s changed a lot of it to make it more fictionalised and Jared is secretly pleased about that. Even though this is their story, he thinks that it’s better that they keep that for themselves. He just doesn’t want to share it with anyone else. Jensen’s said that he’s having trouble with ending it and when Jared reaches the end he just smiles. His therapist is probably going to think he’s on something if he doesn’t stop breaking out into a grin every three seconds. But he can’t help it. He’s not sure if Jensen’s realised it himself, but he’s written something! They never really talked in depth about it, but Jared knows that Jensen was suffering from some kind of writer’s block. He suddenly can’t help the tears that spring in the corner of his eyes but for the first time in what seems like forever, they are happy tears.

So, Jared is feeling better about himself and Jensen is writing again. It’s simple really.

From: jarpad@gmail.com  
To: jensenrackles@gmail.com  
Subject: how to end it…

I love the script. It’s kinda overwhelming actually to see it all on paper (you know what I mean) but it’s really good, I’m not just saying that either!

And well…give them a happy ending. They deserve it :)  
I have to rush…last day of therapy! Yay.

-8-

Jensen eventually finishes writing it all and the first thing he does is go out with Chad and Chris to celebrate. He briefly wonders why Chad is even here but he doesn’t ask. Both Chad and Chris have read it over for him and they’d both told him that it was pretty good. Chad didn’t even make any comments about explosions and was surprising sombre about the whole thing and for some reason that gives Jensen a little confidence boost.

He’s a little disappointed that Jared didn’t really say much about it in his email but he supposes that when they see each other they’ll talk about it. Not that he even knows when he’ll see Jared next. They haven’t made any concrete plans yet but Jensen misses him so much that he just wants to hop in a car and drive to wherever he is just to catch a glimpse of him. It’s not something that he’s been thinking about constantly but when he was writing he’d gotten to the part where the characters declared their love for one another and it’d been real on his part. He’s pretty sure that he loves Jared but he is not entirely sure that Jared feels the same of if Jared is even ready for this kind of relationship.

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder and in Jensen’s case it’s true and then some. He’s not sure that he knows how to live his life without Jared anymore. He’s pretty certain that he doesn’t want to. Loud music filters into Jensen’s ears and he snaps out of his little trance and finally looks up and takes in the sight of the bar that Chad’s dragged them to. There’s a giant flat screen TV pinned up on the wall showing a game that Jensen immediately has no interest in so he just follows Chad who seems to be directing them into some shady secluded area towards the back of the bar. He ducks into the booth furthest towards the back. Jensen slides into it blindly and finds himself toppling onto something firm and muscly. Make that someone firm, muscly, warm and…

“Jared?” he says, shock spreading across his face as he breathes Jared’s scent and warmth floods through his chest. Before Jared can say anything he lunges forward and wraps him a tight hug and tries his hardest to keep the tears from falling. After what seems like a lifetime he finally let’s go and Jared grins at him and says,

“Surprise?” and Jensen laughs. It’s the first time since Jared left that he’s laughed and really meant it and it feels as though a weight has been lifted from his shoulder

“You might want to get off his lap now” Chad says with a snicker, “You and sasquatch can spend some quality time together later – without my interruption!” He winks lewdly and Jensen tries not to show his disdain. Judging by the twin burst of laughter from Jared and Chris he doesn’t quite pull it off. The four of them share a pitcher of beer as they talk about nothing in particular and Jensen can’t help the small smile that appears on his face whenever Jared throws his head back and laughs. It’s like a full body laugh and Jensen can’t help the shiver that runs through him…or the way it gets him all hot and bothered. There’s something different about Jared, he seems surer about himself and is completely different from that broken shell of a man he’d seen up in Chad’s cabin. For a second Jensen thinks that it’s not fair that Jared seems to be better when Jensen is still in the same boat. He’s still a lowly writer taking crappy jobs writing jingles just so he can pay the bills.

But he’s not in the same boat. He’s not the same either. Not now that he has Jared in his life. 


	4. Chapter 4

The second the door shuts behind them, Jensen slams Jared back against it and attacks his mouth with his own, delving so deep inside, Jared's almost afraid he's gonna climb in. He keeps his hands down at his sides and lets Jensen ravish him with his mouth, tongue and hands. God, those hands. Jensen has him pinned to the door with his body while his tongue moves in and around Jared's mouth and his hands are dragging down to feel every inch of Jared's chest, stomach and groin. Jared's whole body goes tingly with lust and he tries to hang on to some tiny bit of control over his mind. He has to admit that he was worried about how Jensen would react to the spotlight but when he grabs Jared's biceps and pulls him from the door and they stumble across the room to the bed he loses all train of thought. Jensen stops moving them and just stands there, softly kissing Jared as he slips his jacket off and tosses it on the floor before doing the same with Jared's. 

Jensen then lowers him down onto the bed to lie on his back and starts to press kisses down the side of his neck while he fumbles with the buttons on Jared's shirt. It feels like only seconds before both of them are shirtless and things slow down as Jared runs his hands down Jensen’s bare chest in awe, his fingers on a mission to glide over every inch of the sweat-covered skin. They're both breathing heavy, lost in the feel of each other and Jensen stares down at Jared, while he takes his time memorizing Jensen's entire body with his hands. He’s painfully hard and judging by the way Jensen’s hips are aligned on his - so is Jensen. He releases a moan as Jensen tugs at one of his nipples before tonguing at it. Jensen’s thigh is pressing hard against his leg and Jared rolls his hips upwards hissing with pleasure when his erection brushes against Jensen’s. As Jensen hovers above him Jared reaches up and starts to undo his fly so he can get Jensen out of those tight jeans that have been driving him crazy all night. They’re both panting as Jensen pulls back, stands up and shucks off his pants and boxers at the same time. 

"A little eager, Jensen?" Jared chuckles and Jensen replies with a raised eyebrow and a smirk before dropping to his knees at the bottom of the bed between Jared's legs. Jared's cocky smile melts as Jensen nuzzles his face into his leg and slowly runs his head up the inside of Jared's thigh. When he reaches his destination, Jensen opens his mouth to bring it down over the hardness Jared's pants are still concealing. Jared's breath gets caught in his throat as Jensen closes his mouth around the hard line of his erection. Then Jensen lifts his eyes and murmurs, "You're one to talk." Then, blowing a hot breath over him, Jensen reaches up and slowly undoes Jared's pants, agonizingly slow, really. Jared throws his head back on the bed and squeezes his eyes shut. He's desperately trying to stop himself from losing it right there, like he was a damn teenager or something. Between the thrill and excitement of tonight and what Jensen's doing to him now though, he's totally wired and his nerve endings are on fire; he's not sure he has it in him to last very long. But he's gonna give it his best shot - or die trying, at least. 

Jensen pulls Jared's pants and boxers off in one quick motion and then his mouth is there again, doing what Jared's convinced his lips were made for. Jared looks down as Jensen is licking, kissing, sucking, and nibbling at his cock. "Oh god, man. Do you have any idea much money you could make in this town if you did that professionally? I mean, you should see yoursel - ahhh!" Jensen effectively stops Jared from saying anymore by taking Jared all the way into the back of his throat. Jared's mind is officially mush now. He doesn't think anything has ever felt better. His hands are clutching at the bedspread below him, bunching up in his fists as Jensen's head is bobbing up and down, his tongue swirling around and applying exactly the right amount of pressure in exactly the right spots. Jared knows it's futile to try and hold back now, his breathing is raspy and heavy, and he can't quite move with the way Jensen is holding his hips into the bed. Jared's just not that strong.   
"Oh god Jensen, oh my god, I'm gonna - " And Jared's coming hard right down Jensen's throat. Jensen closes his mouth around Jared and tries to swallow it all down. And he does, for the most part. A little of it escaping those beautiful lips and dripping down Jensen's chin.

Jared is completely blissed out with his eyes closed and a huge smile stretching across is face. He opens his eyes just in time to see Jensen wiping his chin with the back of his hand and crawling up his body to kiss him full on the mouth. Jensen is grinding into Jared and he can tell that Jensen has just begun. Jensen breaks the kiss and starts moving back down, dragging his mouth over Jared's collarbone, chest, and stopping to bite a little on Jared's hip bone. Jared looks down and watches as Jensen shoves his legs further apart and can feel when his hand reaches down below to start prepping him. His fingers are slick and Jared's foggy brain can barely figure out where the bottle of lube came from. He thinks about it for about two more seconds before Jensen is cramming two fingers inside him, twisting and stretching him. Jared isn't always the one in this position but Jensen seems to be in control of things tonight and Jared can't bring himself to care all that much. He loves it when they're together, no matter how they're together. And Jared's so relaxed from Jensen blowing his mind a few minutes ago that he's pretty sure this is gonna be great. And then Jared feels Jensen's fingers hit that spot and the stars he's already seeing explode in his brain.   
“God, Jensen! Do that again!" Jensen starts hitting that spot over and over with his thrusting fingers and Jared's positive that he's completely hard again. Already. Suddenly, Jensen withdraws his hand and Jared watches him lube up his own straining erection. Jensen leans up then, grabs both of Jared's legs and pushes them up towards his chest.

Lining himself up, he pushes himself slowly in. It burns a little but Jared hasn't felt this good in a long time. He's sure they've had a connection since they met but when they do this; it’s like nothing he's ever felt before. Before he can continue with his stream of thoughts, Jensen pushes himself all the way in and rests on top of Jared, looking into his eyes. It's a little uncomfortable, but Jared stretches his head up to kiss Jensen. It's a pretty brief yet still brutal kiss and once their lips separate Jensen pulls his hips back and thrusts forward again, all the way. And then again. They pick up a rhythm, Jared's hips thrusting up to meet Jensen's downward thrusts.   
They start rocking together, into one another and all that is heard is the panting and gasping between them. Then Jensen shifts his angle a little and picks up speed, plowing into Jared over and over, hitting directly on the right spot each time. Jared squeezes his eyes shut and grabs on to Jensen's back, holding onto him for dear life. Back and forth, in and out, until the Jared feels the rapid tingling in his stomach and erupts again, all over both of their stomachs. Jensen's hips start to stutter, losing all sense of rhythm and he pushes in one last time and let's out a cry of pleasure and Jared can feel him filling him up. Jensen lays a hot, sloppy kiss on Jared and breathes out heavily "Oh god, Jared." Jared's realizes hands are still grasping at his back so he loosens his hold and starts rubbing his hands in slow circles along Jensen's back. Jensen then pulls out and collapses alongside Jared, both of them holding onto each other. 

~8~

Jared stifles a yawn as he sits at a table in a relatively discreet area in the restaurant with a content feeling floating around in chest as he waits for Jensen to arrive. He's been in meetings all afternoon but he'd promised Jensen that they'd go out tonight and he's hellbent on keeping his word. It’s been about three weeks or so since he’d seen Jensen at the bar and since then they haven’t been able to get enough of each other. Even though things have been relatively normal for Jared since he got out of therapy there’s been a bit of tension between the two of them ever since Jared went and did the table read for the stupid horror movie they were trying to force him to star in. Of course he didn’t do it. He’d stood up and told them where to shove it, and then walked out of the conference room. Of course, not fifteen minutes later, they’d called him back and told him that they were considering another movie. It was Jensen’s movie of course but with all of the producers and big-shots in the room, the studio boss wasn’t going to admit that he’d tried to railroad Jared into doing a film that he didn’t want to when they were there. Jared’s sure that he’d spent the rest of the meeting looking smug but he figures that after all of the shit they’ve put him through; he deserves to have his moment. 

He finally got the call today from his agent that they’ve agreed to shoot and produce Jensen’s movie because it’s “unique, interesting take on modern romance” or, well something along the lines of that. Jared knows that it’s mostly bullshit from the studio’s end. He knows that there’s been a murmur about it being about two guys but the last he heard this was studio’s chance to show that they were open to movies about all lifestyles and diversity. Another bullshit line but he’ll take it. Maybe he’s biased, but Jensen’s movie is the one script that he has total belief in even before he’s started doing table reads or started shooting. So he’s not going to let anyone one deter him from doing it. It’s his story, their story and he’s going to do it justice or die trying. Metaphorically speaking of course. Obviously things won’t be plain sailing, they still have to go through auditions and casting, and possible rewrites but Jared’s okay with that. 

"Hey" Jensen says as he reaches the table and gives Jared a quick kiss before he sits down across from him. Jared grins at him brightly and Jensen gives him a puzzled look as he smiles back.

He feels as though he can do anything he’s ever dreamed of with Jensen by his side.

The End!!!

Notes (again): it's over! And I'm happy yet sad at the same time. I think that I'll definitely be writing a timestamp, and if all goes well...maybe a sequel. Thank you all so much for reading! Feel free to leave a comment <3


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